Friend Raped

Finding out that a friend or loved one has been raped can be an overwhelming experience.  You may feel shocked, confused and unsure of what needs to be done.  For victims to overcome sexual assault, they need empathy, understanding and emotional support.  It is important to remember that individuals react differently to trauma, but the following steps can help you when facing such a situation.

• Remain Calm - It is normal to feel shock or anger, but expressing these to the victim may worsen their trauma, and they may feel that your anger is directed at them personally. 
      
• Take necessary steps to get the victim to safety - The best way to do this is by calling your local law enforcement department.
      
• Seek medical attention immediately - Even if there is no outward sign of injury, encourage your friend to go to the local emergency department or the Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) Facility at the Crisis Center (call 205-323-7273 or 888-323-7273).  Some injuries may not be noticeable or obvious.  Also, evidence can be collected during an exam that may be needed if a future decision is made to prosecute.
      
• Let the person who has been victimized express their feelings - It may be hard to listen to what has happened, but this is an important step in the victim’s healing process.  However, if the victim wishes to remain silent, do not force a discussion.  Remember this: if you don’t know what to say, that’s OK. 
        
• Let the victim know you believe them and offer non-judgmental support - Many victims may feel blame toward themselves for what has happened, or may fear that no one would believe them.  Believing and providing unconditional support is one of the most important things you can do for someone who has been raped.  After all, they have been through one of the most horrible things that can happen to a person, and survived.  Here are some things you can say:

• Refer your friend for ongoing professional assistance and seek help for yourself - The crime of sexual assault can have psychological impact on family and friends as well.  You may be likely to experience strong reactions when you hear of the assault, such as rage, helplessness, and a desire for revenge.  Counseling is available to help you through these feelings.  For more information on services for friends and family, call Rape Response at (205) 323-7273 or (888) 323-7273.