Date Rape

What is date rape?

Date rape is feeling pressured into having sex when you don’t want to.  When we think of rape, we tend to think of a stranger jumping out from behind a bush and sexually attacking someone.  The reality is, about half of all people who are raped know their attacker.  It may not be violent and may be forced on you by your partner or someone else who otherwise cares about you.  Most friendships and dates do not lead to violence, of course, but when sex is forced, it is date rape.  Even if you know each other well, even if you have been intimate or have had sex before, no one has the right to force a sexual act on another person against his or her wishes.

Here are some facts about date rape.

• Nearly half of all reports of rape in Alabama involve victims under the age of 18.

• Sexual assault is most often committed by someone the victim knows, not by a stranger.

• Most sexual assaults occur in the victim’s own home, rather than in dark alleyways.

• Many sexual assaults involve alcohol or other drugs.  Drinking can loosen inhibitions, dull our common sense and, in some cases, enable aggressive behaviors to surface.

• Sometimes drugs are used to take advantage of victims.  These are called “date rape drugs” and are most often secretly put into a victim’s drink, which may or may not be alcoholic.  When the drug dissolves, it is usually colorless, odorless and sometimes tasteless.  You can’t see it, smell it, or taste it.  It is invisible.  It can take effect within minutes and can last up to 24 hours.  During this time, the victim may become helpless or unconscious.  When the drug wears off, the victim may not be able to remember what happened or even who attacked her or him.

• Sexual assault is about power, not sex or sexual attraction.

• Any person can be sexually assaulted, even males.

·  How can I protect myself from date rape?

Although sexual assault can happen to anyone at anytime, there are certain things you can do to help reduce the risk. 

• Observe your environment.

• Trust your feelings.  If something doesn’t feel right or if you feel pressured or frightened, listen to yourself and get out of that situation.  Do not be afraid to hurt someone’s feelings or cause a scene.  Your safety is always the number one priority.

• Be assertive.  Stand up for yourself.  It’s okay to get angry or to confront someone who is pressuring you.

• Never accept a drink from someone you don’t trust.  Never leave your drink unattended.  Use the “buddy system” if you choose to use alcohol or drugs.

• Avoid secluded places, even your room or your partner’s room until you trust your partner.

• Stay aware and sober.  Be aware of your surroundings and try to stay in control.

• Go out in a group, watch out for each other.

• Be careful to not send mixed messages.

• Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you feel threatened.

• Bring your own drink and/or watch your drink being poured.

• If you realize you’ve left your drink unattended, get rid of it.

Remember this: No one asks to be sexually assaulted… it is never the victim’s fault, no matter what.                                 

It is important to remember that sexual assault is never the victim’s fault – regardless of anything he or she has or has not done.

If you or someone you know is raped, try to remain calm.  While some victims may be hysterical, others are in a state of shock.  It is important to first get to a safe place and then call the police.  Although it is scary to do this because the victim may be scared, embarrassed, confused, and might not want anyone to know what happened, it is important to file an initial police report.  This report allows the police to secure the area and help the victim access the appropriate medical care and be eligible for crime victim’s compensation.  Although shame is a normal reaction, this is a serious crime, but it is not the victim’s fault.

If you have been physically injured and you need medical attention, call 911 or go to a hospital immediately.  Evidence is best collected within the first 72 hours (or 3 days) following the assault.  If possible, do not bathe, shower, change clothes, go to the bathroom, or eat or drink anything.  This could destroy some of the evidence. 

You can have the evidence collected in one of two places…. The SANE facility is for those victims who are 13 and older and who have filed a police report, or at any hospital emergency room.  To access SANE, call the Crisis Center's Rape Response line at (205) 323-7273 or (888) 323-7273.

You can also contact Teen Link.  Teen Link is a program of the Crisis Center.  Sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone who is trained to help or to someone who doesn’t know you.

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